Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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