your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
