i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
