Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
