So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
