Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
