5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I wish you could order shots online.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
