I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
