Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
