I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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