Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
