Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
