I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
This is classic penis vs brain.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
