He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
