Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
