well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
