I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
