Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm having to shit out rocks
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
