He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
vagina is talking i cant
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
