IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
