The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
