just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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