What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
don't judge my taste in strippers
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
