Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
