She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
