I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
