guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
