this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
