Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
