i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
