Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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