you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
