oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
