The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
