Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i barfeds in our rink
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
