I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
