do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
