At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
