I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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