Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
