yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
