He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
