I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
