remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
