We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
This house was built for laser tag.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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