I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
