Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
