At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
