He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
