Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
