y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
