But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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